Twin bongos struck off beat,
two hearts play different songs.
Every fiber of my being
every molecule,
down to the littlest bit,
I give to God.
I reach wildly for holiness with my left hand,
and with my right, I reach for the object of my lust.
My baldening figure is inflamed with my desire for strange flesh,
My body is enflamed for my trespasses.
I will perfect faith, fall drastically short.
But I still will it.

I have been conflicted of late with the disparity between my calling and my nature. I have questioned if they are one in the same. In countless bible stories, it is thus: God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called. But in many others, as oft in Western society, the movers and shakers of the day get church work done. Already, I digress.
A great friend and spiritual guide of mine, Bryan Cooper, said to me recently, “You know, Jay. Things don’t have to be Christian for God to speak …

I heard a preacher say “Remember, God is not holy. God is not holy, holy. God is holy, holy, holy.”
Today, a raucous man screamed at me. He was screaming “YOU NEED TO BE BAPTISED” in the story that he was telling. It makes me think on the power of single letters. Think of it this way: in the English language, we name our letters unique names. But, in, say, Hebrew, each letter has many meanings. The Hebrew letter “aleph” literally means ox. It is the word “ox”. But, beyond …